The SelfCare After Series Presents: Subtle Signs of Rape Culture
Heard or Used any of the Following?
- Telling slim women and girls who express desire for weight gain that sex makes them thick.
- “Let me just put the head in.”
- Normalizing men receiving oral sex but not giving it.
- Sexualizing any standard act done by women.
- Defending a rapist because of their talents, gifts or contributions.
- Victim Blaming-
- Them: “she shouldn’t have been drunk.”
- Me: “No, he shouldn’t have raped her.”
What happens if you discover that you perpetuate rape culture?
- Calm the fuck down;
- do not get defensive (that makes it worse)
- and read on.
Our society is screwed up, in every single way imagined. Don’t harp on Black Americas ability to produce culture for the world as a sign that we are good, our music is good, but we not, we out here hurting like the secret message in a Future song.
By default we are all apart of the problem until we undergo an unlearning and relearning process to become a part of the solution. Basically, it is not entirely your fault that you, your friends, your family, and everyone else, perpetuate rape culture. But once you are aware that we are all culprits, do better. Don’t take the criticism so personally that your ego denies all facts relating to the harm you have potentially caused. When harm is denied no one can heal and we all NEED healing!
Instead, use this phrasing when people tell you that your words or actions are indicative of some fucked up social contract that you unknowingly abide by:
Person to You: Your comments are: racist, misogynistic, classist, homophobic, etc.
Your Option 1: “Word? I didn’t know tell me more.”
Your Option 2: “Word? I didn’t know, what do I need to do to be better?”
When we implement emotional justice in our daily practice of social justice we are able to shift the ways we approach our issues, handle victims with care and communicate effectively.
The SelfCare After Series is an expansive workshop and social entrepreneurial project that infuses social justice with wellness in order to give language, tools and skills to attendees that promotes awareness, healing and cultural shifts. Discover more at www.SelfCareAFB.com.
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