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Do You Really Know How Seduction Works?

Looking for a little inspiration for this new post, the word “flirt” came to mind.

We all know that weekend nights are an incredibly propitious place to practice all our seduction tactics on anyone who catches our attention, with much or less success. 

Seduction itself is a current of attraction stemming from one or two senses, in this excitement plays a stellar role. And although it may not seem possible, seduction is not always conscious and voluntary. We do not always flirt with intention.

Did you know?

These attempts to captivate the other are not reduced to furtive peeks and smiles; a large number of factors influence this kind of ritual. Beginning with verbal language (sometimes an interesting conversation is usually much better than a compliment). Then body language when we entertain the flirtatious acts. We end with fantasies that inhabit in each of us. Yes, fantasies, the world as a projection of our inner world. We do not see the other as they are, but as a projection of what we are seeking. The result usually causing most of the disappointments we face after really knowing the person.

These factors, verbal and body language along with our fantasies, create what we call the “spark” or “chemistry.” This “spark” is the proof of the subjective experience that keeps relationships alive.

But not everything ends here, we have to discuss physical attractiveness. The greater the physical attractiveness one person exercises over another, the greater the likelihood of harmony. Although there is no prototype of attraction there is a desire for concordance in all people, generally. Meaning, we usually approach people whom we consider to have similar appeal to ourselves. 

If we are looking to build a relationship, there are some other elements that consciously or unconsciously influence us. As for example the proximity; closeness makes us less threatening to people. In addition, closeness in spatial contexts is directly related to the probability that two people will be attracted. You are much more likely to be interested in a person that you see regularly than one you have little chance of seeing again. Even so, this obstacle can be challenging and provoke a reaction that reactivates interest.

The similarity or complementarity is also a strong influence, the greater the common interests/locations/looks between two people, the more likely they are to approach each other.

With all this, it is necessary to take into account that the attraction is not visual and static, but multisensorial and dynamic (perfume, voice, look …) and above all is subjective. And that the best way to be attractive to others is to be ourselves, since there will always be someone interested in seducing us.

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Isabel R.

I am Isabel Rovira, an enthusiastic psychologist and sexologist living in Barcelona. I have a restless mind, I’m witty, creative and a very curious person. I love psychology, sexuality, people and finding inspiration in good stories. I’m also in with art, photography, writing and hundreds of other things that do not fit here. Nice to meet you!

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