I joined the military after high school. That was the first time I ever had to run a mile and a half under fifteen minutes, and on top of that I never had to exercise so much in my life. I saw everyone around me running extremely fast, while I was struggling to keep a pace. I was so stressed out because I was overweight, and in my mind, I was already defeated.
I had to pass the running test to graduate. I had already failed it twice.
Then I came to the conclusion that the only thing holding me back from running the mile and a half was myself. I knew to run the race I just had to push myself and endure to the end. It was no longer about my weight, but about my mind.
Do you realize how hard it was for a “fat girl” like me to keep going and not give up? Physically, I was ready to give in, but mentally I was determined to win. The next time we trained, I gave it my all. In a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize. I was determined to run in such a way as to get the prize.
One mental battle down.
Five months ago, I gave birth to a beautiful caramel baby boy. I tried everything from oils to cocoa butter and anything else I could find to prevent stretch marks from staining my body. Deep down those insecurities about my weight still loomed.
Have you ever been in a situation where you felt like giving up? No matter how much cream I used to prevent the stretch marks, I still ended up with tiger stripes. And you know what? That is alright with me. When I look at my son, the last thing I am concerned about is my fat belly. I thank God that my body is healthy enough to produce a baby. Who cares about how much I weigh? My son loves me, and my husband tells me that I am beautiful. I have fought an excellent fight, experienced labor pains, and now I get to enjoy my prize!
I did pass my test and I graduated from basic training. I went from a size 13 to a size 9. At first that was a really big deal to me, but now that I have had my baby, I am back to a size 13. I could feel that same defeat I felt before, because I’m looking around me instead of ahead. But I know now that my battle is more than just physical and if I defeat my mental insecurities it is that much easier to win the battle against my weight. I know there is someone out there who is running a similar race. I am here to encourage you to keep going.
Remember the fastest runner doesn’t always win the race, and the strongest warrior doesn’t always win the battle. The wise sometimes go hungry, and the skillful are not necessarily wealthy. Stay determined and look within for your strength. Only you can determine your worth. Continue to fight the good fight and endure to the end. Keep running and get your prize!
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