As the holidays crept closer and closer there was a common thread in all the conversations shared between me and my close friends…ambivalent emotions about the impending family time. Weird, right? It’s not that we don’t love our families, we can’t live without them, there are just a few things that get our nerves twisting and make family time more of a chore than a welcomed, blissful occasion.
3 Reasons Your Family Annoys You
Expectations can be big or small, but no matter the size when they go unfulfilled there is always tension. As twenty-somethings and post-grads, the biggest concern is “what are you doing with your life” and do they approve of it. Whether you’re in the business of people-pleasing or not, constantly being questioned or explaining your life plans gets tiresome and annoying. I soooo get it.
Solution: Do you boo, respectfully. (It took me a long time to get that second half down). Family only wants the BEST for you. Their best just may not be your best. Unfortunately, like anyone, their worldview is limited by their own specific experiences. Listen to their advice and take from it what you can. Don’t take their wisdom for granted, but don’t take it as gospel either.
Another family challenge I’ve heard time and time again, are the seemingly unreasonable demands. “Do this for us. Do that for us.” It’s as if they all think “you’re young, capable and have the free time.” And don’t let you have a decent job or money, the demands only grow more ridiculous. If it’s not those type of demands, it’s the fact that they’ve provided for you and supported you your entire life, so you “owe” it to them to make something of yourself.
Solution: Again, respectfully, let your family know that now you are an adult and your priorities as such may not accommodate their needs right now. This doesn’t mean you don’t love them any less, it just means that you have to focus on establishing yourself before you can effectively help anyone else.
3. Clash of personalities. This can get you into trouble with complete strangers and yet, with family “it’s family.” Some people just don’t need to be around each other, but the holiday is the time to push all drama aside. You may not be in the center of any family feuds, but if you’re familiar with them you know they cause stress for anyone present.
Solution: I hardly know what to do in these situations myself, the personalities in my family couldn’t be more conflicting. I have learned though, that playing peacemaker is NOT the thing to do. It usually turns what could be a small dispute to an even bigger one with more mouths and opinions to cloud the minds of the already irritated individuals. Let disputes be handled one on one away from everyone else.
I’ve come to realize the time spent with my family despite these annoyances is altogether strengthening and full of valuable lessons. We may get on each others nerves, but we understand the value of family and wouldn’t trade it for anything in this world.
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